3. There's No Place Like HomeTy finished buttoning up his light brown shirt and then worked at tucking it in, Dede's request pounding at him in full voice. He pressed his lips together and gave a shake of his head, but then the thought of being apart from Becca brought him back to the possibility. He didn't relish the idea of leaving her alone for so many hours when she'd already gone through so much. Ty buckled his trouser belt and risked a glance to his watch. He would have to leave soon. God, if You want her to come with me, then You have her be awake when I go check on her. Otherwise, You close that door as firmly as possible. You know how I feel about her. Ty gave a slight nod as he tucked his gun and handcuffs into their appropriate places within the sturdy leather utility belt. Then Ty turned for the hall, stopping with a blink of surprise. Becca stood in the doorway, arms protectively crossing her chest while dressed in a too-large sweatshirt and a pair of baggy jeans. She even wore a pair of sturdy leather boots. Ty reluctantly smiled. Well, I guess I should consider that an open door. "Can I come?" she whispered, and her voice sounded on the brink of tears. "Please?" "If you want," Ty said softly. Memories of ride-alongs with his dad hit him from behind, and his smile wavered slightly. Becca nodded, eyes wide as she lowered her arms to her sides. Ty cleared his throat. "I always stop by the cemetery first." "Cemetery?" she asked in a hushed voice, again looking up. Ty nodded as he looked away, self-consciously stepping forward to retrieve his heavyweight jacket from where it hung on the doorknob of the bedroom door. He shrugged into it before meeting her gaze. "My parents. You want to meet them?" Becca slightly nodded. Ty gave a small smile as he motioned to the stairs. "Come on then." Becca followed him down the stairs, passing through the front door as he held it open for her. They silently made their way to his Cherokee, memories of dances and dates and proms and parties making Ty's head hurt and his chest tighten. He opened the Cherokee door for her and closed it once she'd settled into the seat. Ty cleared his throat and rubbed at the back of his neck as he went around the front of the white Cherokee. First dates, first flowers, first kisses-- He cleared his throat again as he opened his side and stepped up, buckling in and starting the car as he sent her a reassuring smile. Becca only momentarily met his gaze before she moved her eyes to stare out the window. Ty forced himself to look away from her profile and the scars and the scratches and the memories... and put the Cherokee in gear to drive down the long driveway to the cemetery on the outskirts of Brazon Creek. Ty heard a sniff and glanced over at her. Becca stared down at a specific finger on her hand. "What's wrong?" Becca touched the finger, as if she searched for something, and then sniffed again. "I... I don't know," she whispered. "It just doesn't look right." Ty glanced at her and her hand a few more times before giving a snap of his fingers as he thought, Oh yeah. The snap drew Becca's attention. He dug into his right breast pocket and drew out the pale gold band. He offered it to her, sparing her face occasional glances. "I think this is what you're looking for," he said softly. Becca cautiously reached out for it, carefully retrieving it without touching him, and then held it in her hand to stare at it. "Oh," she whispered. Ty clenched his jaw and looked away, remembering the day he gave it to her, her reaction, and the picnic, and the laughter and the fun they had. He cleared his throat and blinked the memories away as he gripped the steering wheel. Becca didn't remember any of it. All she had trapped in her mind were the horrific memories of more than 10 years in a cruel type of tortured captivity. Abuse. That was all she had. I want to give her more than that, Jesus, but I've no idea what You want me to do. Becca was in such a tender and fragile state that Ty feared anything might send her further within herself. "I don't even know who gave it to me," she whispered in a wavering voice, "but it makes me feel better. I just stare at it or touch it... and I feel better." Becca slightly smiled as she gazed down at the ring, not noticing Ty's expression or his sidelong glances. She caressed the ring, kissed it, and then put it back onto her finger. Ty's throat tightened, and he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Dear Jesus... Becca moved her gaze to him. "Do you have something like that?" she asked, still whispering. Ty cleared his throat as he reached up and carefully pulled a lightweight chain out from his undershirt. On it hung a simple band of pale gold. Inside was etched the word 'Forever'. "I never take it off," he said quietly. "I can't. It just doesn't feel right when I do." And taking it off would have meant admitting you were gone. I couldn't do that. God wouldn't let me. Becca absently nodded as she again changed her focus to an examination of her ring. "Sometimes I see a face..." She sighed. "I wish I could remember that at least. I mean, they gave this to me for a reason, didn't they?" Ty scrubbed at his scalp, fighting against the urge to tell her who gave her the ring and why and what it meant and what it still meant-- "It'll come when you're ready," he said softly. Becca wiped at her cheeks. Then she pulled her booted feet up onto the seat with her, wrapping her arms around them. "I don't think I want to remember," she whispered. Ty cleared his throat and turned right onto the road that led to the cemetery. "I guess I can understand that," he said, careful to keep his voice low and non-threatening. Becca hunkered into the corner of the Cherokee's cabin as she looked over at him. "But then I can't help you." Her voice hinted at tears. "I won't be able to answer your questions." Ty forced a reassuring smile as he glanced toward her. "That's alright. You did what you could, and I appreciate the help." Tears glimmered in her green eyes, making Ty's chest tighten. He moved his gaze away. "You can only do what you can do," he finished. Ty could feel her gaze remain as she scrutinized his profile. It raised the hairs on the nape of his neck and made his mouth go dry. "I... I can't remember your name," she finally said in a tone that clearly sounded ashamed. Ty released a slow breath as he glanced over at her. "Ty." "Oh," she said slowly. "I thought..." Ty moved his gaze to her again, longer this time. "What. You thought what?" he urged gently. "I..." Becca shook her head and looked away. "I thought it was something else. Just stupid, I guess." Ty clenched his jaw, jerking back on the reins of his temper with a hard yank. Becca had never thought of herself as stupid. To think the guy had mutilated her confidence to that extent made Ty see red. "I doubt it's stupid," he said softly. Becca remained quiet. "Come on," he gently pressed. "Humor me." She sent him a sidelong look and whispered, "T.J...." Ty paled and gripped the steering wheel. Then he forced yet another small smile and sent her a glance while he said, "I've been called that before. Short for Tyler James." "R-Really?" Ty nodded, remembered how he loved the way Becca used to say it, and cleared his throat. "Yep. The name 'James' has been in the family for generations. 'Tyler' was mom's idea. She liked the sound of it. Said it sounded strong or something." Becca continued to watch his profile. "Tyler James," she repeated softly, slowly. When Ty sent her a quick glance, he noticed a slight smile. "I like it," she whispered. "Can I call you T.J.?" Ty's face lightened with a smile as he looked over at her. "Sure." Then her smile wavered and disappeared, and she switched her focus to a scrutiny of the scenery outside. Ty's smile twisted to a pained expression as he watched her, not able to offer her the comfort he so wanted to give. Not able to give her the name and the identity she probably wanted. Finally, he allowed himself to ask, "What's the matter?" Becca adjusted her arms around her legs as she rested the side of her head against the window. She closed her eyes. "I wish I had a name," she confessed in a choked whisper. Ty's throat tightened, and he gripped the steering wheel and clenched his jaw a moment before forcing a smile and sending her a reassuring glance. "You do. You just haven't found it yet." Becca slowly opened her eyes to stare at the knob of the glove compartment. "Everything's lost. Muddled in my mind and mixed up with nightmares and twisted faces..." She lowered her head to hide her face between her knees. Ty sent her a concerned glance. Jesus, how do I help? What can I do to give her a little peace? Becca released a choked sigh. "I don't want to be afraid anymore," she whispered. Ty rubbed at his forehead and face, clenching his jaw so hard it hurt. "How can I help?" he asked softly, lowering his hand to grip the steering wheel. Becca sniffed, lifting her head to wipe tears from her cheeks. "I... I don't know." She restrained a sob and looked out the window again, tightening her arms around her. "I don't know." Ty only just kept himself from reaching out to touch her. Instead, he balled his hand into a fist and rested it on his knee as he remained silent. His insides ached. Ty pulled into the cemetery a few minutes later and stepped out, released a cleansing breath with a panicked prayer as he went around to her side to open the door. Becca slid out with a wary and almost terror-stricken look on her face as she looked around the grassy field of historical tombstones and grave markers. Ty motioned to a northeast section. Becca sent him a quick glance before wrapping her arms around herself and stepping forward. Ty fell into step beside her, outwardly silent as his spirit continued to pray and petition for her peace of mind and his wisdom. Ty didn't feel right about saying anything. So he remained quiet, allowing the soft silence and gentle aroma of the greenery to do for her what it always did for him: give him some peace. He noticed an occasional twitch or furtive glance over her shoulder, and when she glanced toward him he would do his best to intercept her gaze with an assuring smile. Becca didn't look at him very often, though. Her frame of mind seemed to teeter on the edge of panic and desperation. As if she expected her captor to be hiding in wait. When Ty surrendered to an overwhelming need to comfort her, she cringed back from his touch with a wide-eyed gaze toward him. His responding smile was pained and slight, and he immediately lowered his hand while taking a step slightly away from her. Becca looked away, tears glimmering as she worried her lower lip between her teeth. "I-I'm sorry," she whispered. "Don't worry about it," Ty told her. Then he motioned to the right. "Just a couple more steps." The gravestones were simple; marble with a brief etching of a eulogy under their name. Side by side they rested, forever together as they had been in life. Ronald James and Elsbeth Marie Bryant. Ty removed his cover, absently rotating it between his hands. Becca stepped a bit closer to the tombstones and knelt down, sitting back on her heels as she studied them. Ty watched her. I found her, Dad. You were right. She did find a way back. Becca cautiously reached out to touch and trace the names, silent tears dripping down pale cheeks. Becca and Ty's parents had always been close; she had been viewed as a part of the family even before the two had begun dating in high school. If she reacted this way, perhaps the memories lingered closer than Ty thought. Becca lowered her hand, clasping them in her lap as she continued to stare at the headstones. Ty crouched, holding his cover in one has as he reached out to touch one headstone with his palm. "H-How did they die?" she whispered. Ty took in a deep breath as he lowered his hand from the headstone. He moved his gaze to his Smokey Bear. "Mom was taken by a drunk driver. Dad was killed in the line of duty a couple years ago." Becca looked over at him, studying his profile a moment before moving her eyes back to the headstones. She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Was he Sheriff, too?" Ty gave a slight nod with a quiet, "Yeah." Becca remained silent and still as she stared at the headstones, doing her own type of mourning as Ty did his. Then Ty released a quiet breath, briefly resting his hand on their headstones again as he straightened. He moved his gaze to Becca. "I need to get to the office," he said softly. Becca gave a small nod before slowly standing to her feet. She turned away from the headstones while keeping her gaze on the ground. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Becca sent him a glance. "I'm sorry they're gone." Ty's throat tightened as he briefly smiled. "Thank you." He motioned back the way they had come. "Come on. Let's get going." Becca didn't move, and Ty caught himself from saying her name. "What's the matter?" Becca looked over her shoulder toward the graves before facing them completely. "What happened?" she whispered. "How did he die?" Ty cleared his throat as he changed his focus to the headstone and the eulogy - He gave his life to protect. "Shot." "Why?" "Hunters. They were shooting game without a license. Dad and I only pulled their van over because of a minor thing. They didn't want to risk it." Ty cleared his throat again as he adjusted his cover. "First time in 5o years that a sheriff or deputy had been shot in Brazon Creek." Becca choked on a sob. She shook her head and sent him a sorrowful expression. Ty gave a reassuring smile that he was sure didn't reach his eyes. "It's not your fault." Nope. You'd already been gone for more than five years. He sighed. I missed you the most then... Becca's gaze moved back to the headstones. Finally, she took in a slow and deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. "Come on," Ty said softly. "They're waiting at the office, and I'm sure they all want to meet the Lady of Baxter Road." Becca gave a slight nod as she turned away to follow beside Ty to the Cherokee. "Is that what they're calling me?" she whispered. "The Lady of B-Baxter Road?" "That and 'the wanderer'. I'm afraid the guys aren't very imaginative." Becca raised her gaze from the ground and glanced over at Ty, meeting his gaze. "What would you call me?" she asked hesitantly. Ty's smile, slight as it was, vanished. Oh God. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Let's not worry about that until we get a little more information," he said vaguely. "But... But I can't remember anything." "That's alright. We've sent your fingerprints on to Portland. If they don't have you on file, we'll figure a name out then." But they'll have your name on file. You and I both went in to register our fingerprints. Dad said it'd be important. We made a day of it. An adventure. "Oh." Becca stared down at her clenched hands as the two moved toward the Cherokee at a steady pace. Then she looked over at Ty again. "If they know who I am, can you not tell me?" Ty stopped and looked at her in surprise. "What?" She flinched and immediately lowered her gaze. Ty released a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry. You just took me by surprise. I thought you would want to know who you are and where you came from. I knew you probably wouldn't want to remember what happened, but..." Ty examined her expression. Becky, "Why don't you want to know who you are?" I loved who you were. I can't let her die. I can't let her be forever forgotten. Becca worried her lower lip a moment before pulling up her sleeve and staring down at the scars on her arms. "What if she liked that?" she whispered. Becca stared down at the scars for another moment before looking up at Ty. "What if she liked it?" Ty felt his face go yellow and green with the nausea that curdled his stomach. Becca had always been a loving young woman with a heart after God. She had always had a passion for the lost and the abused. Ty couldn't imagine Becca being anything else... He swallowed hard as he slowly reached out and took her hand, expecting the flinch and doing his best to ignore it as he pulled the sweatshirt sleeve back down. Then he loosened his hold on her hand, but she didn't pull hers free. She just stared at the sleeve. "I don't believe that," he said softly. Becca shook her head. "But you don't know..." "Be--" Ty briefly clenched his jaw before releasing a slow breath. "Bet I do," he offered gently. "I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I'd rather give you the benefit of the doubt. Wouldn't you?" Becca sniffed and gave another shake of her head. "No," she whispered. "How come?" Becca raised her eyes to briefly meet his gaze. Then she looked away again. "The dreams..." Ty released another breath and released his hold on her hand. She immediately drew it behind her and rubbed it on the back of her sweatshirt. "We won't worry about that until I hear from Portland. Then you can say whether or not you want to know what we found out. Okay?" She slightly nodded. "Okay," she whispered. Ty motioned to the Cherokee again. They began toward it. "When we get to the office, you're going to meet two deputies. Simone and Daniel. Simone leaves when I get there, but Dan will stay until noon. I'm there until six this evening, and then Simone comes back to relieve me." Ty sent her a glance. "Simone's my younger sister, and Dan's been my friend since we were six. They're great people. Alright?" "Simone and Daniel," she repeated quietly. "Now you don't have to stay at the office the entire shift." And he nearly said her name again. "Dan can take you--" When Becca looked up at him with a terrified gaze, Ty halted and lifted his hands. Becca shook her head, almost frantic. "It's okay," Ty reassured gently. "You don't have to go anywhere. You can stay at the office with me. I just wanted to let you know you could have Dan take you back to Perry's. That's all. You don't have to go if you don't want to." Ty began to feel the mental and emotional exhaustion hit him like a load of bricks. Jesus, I'm going to need Your strength if this is what You want me to do. I can't help her on my own. There's no way. "Please," she begged in a choked whisper. Ty sent her a slight smile. "Like I said, you don't have to go if you don't want to. I'm all for choices, Be--" Ty cut off with a clearing of his throat as he gestured yet again for the Cherokee. "Now we better go before they think I've quit my job." He finally got her into the Cherokee and down the road toward the office, all the while wondering if Dan and Simone would recognize her. I certainly didn't. Then again, his memory had probably been insulated to protect him from the shock. Shock? More like a miracle. Tears pricked at his eyes, and he blinked them away. Thank You, God. Thank You... Ty rubbed at his scalp, sending Becca a quick glance. She stared out the window at the passing scenery while twirling her ring and biting her lower lip. Okay, God. I'm putting this in Your hands again, terrifying as that is for me to do. And that's what Ty did for the entire ride to the office. He prayed and listened, getting his heart and mind and spirit ready for what would surely be a rough and horrible ride for both of them. Then he pulled the Cherokee up in front of the small office/jail and hesitated before climbing out and going to her side. "It's nothing glamourous," he said softly as she slipped down, "but it's a nice place to work day in and day out." Becca rubbed at her arms as she absently nodded. Ty shut the Cherokee door and hesitated yet again before stepping toward the station. Becca cautiously followed beside him. The two ascended the few stairs of the front porch in silence, Becca falling further behind. When Ty reached out to open the station door, he felt a hint of surprise at her sudden clutch at his shirt. "It's okay," he said softly as he opened the door. "I'm right here." Ty stepped into the office to see Dan and Simone by the coffee maker on the west side. "Good morning, people," he greeted. "Hey, boss--" Simone dropped her mug on the floor. "Oh my God..." Ty felt the hands clutching his shirt tighten, just as he felt Becca's cringe and heard her whimper of panic. He quickly raised a hand as he sent Simone a meaningful look and a slight shake of his head. "What?" Dan asked as he looked up from pouring his coffee. Dan turned to face Ty. His expression paled and his hand tightened on the handle of the coffee pot, slopping some onto the floor. Ty sent him the same slight shake of his head as he and Becca continued to walk slowly forward. Then he stopped and turned slightly to his right, urging her to let go with a quiet "Sh-sh-sh. It's okay." Becca let Ty take her hand and lead her around to stand beside him, but she moved as close to him as possible. Surprised at the change, Ty didn't mind. I guess I'm not the threat anymore. Ty looked back to Dan and Simone. Simone hadn't moved to pick up the pieces of the coffee mug, and Dan still clutched the pot handle. "Dan. Simone. This is our Lady of Baxter Road, but she can't remember who she is or where she came from." Dan recovered first and softly said, "Hi. I'm Dan." Becca cringed deeper into Ty's side, not looking at either Dan or Simone. Ty cautiously encircled her shoulders with an arm and to his surprise, she didn't react negatively at all. "Dan's my friend. Remember?" Becca slightly nodded her head, but she didn't look up. Ty moved his gaze from Becca to Simone. Tears brimmed in his sister's eyes, but she held them back with amazing effort. Simone swallowed hard before speaking. "Hi. I'm Simone, but you can call me Si." And she followed the statement with a pained glance toward Ty. Becca always did, didn't she, sis? Ty sent his sister a slight smile before looking back down to Becca. "Come on. I'll show you my desk." Becca shook her head. Ty examined her face but couldn't see anything past the terror. "You want to go back to Perry's and wait there?" Becca's head snapped up to reveal a horrified expression as she again shook her head. Ty vaguely noticed Simone turn and leave the station by way of the back door, face covered with trembling hands. "What do you need?" he asked Becca softly as he withdrew his arm from her shoulders. "Tell me what's wrong." Becca blinked up at him. "You don't know?" Ty offered. She slightly nodded. "Okay, well, this place is new to you, so why don't you just stand here for a little bit and look around. Do you think that might help?" Becca sent a furtive glance over her shoulder toward Dan. Ty followed her gaze while sending Dan a 'Do you mind waiting outside?' look. Dan set down the coffee pot and turned to leave without a word, still wearing the same stricken expression. Ty looked back to Becca, finally realizing that she clutched his hand. He gave it a slight, gentle squeeze. She raised her gaze to meet his before looking away again. "You want me to show you around? Or just tell you where everything is and what it's for?" But panic and fear had her so much under her control that Ty didn't believe she could say anything any time soon. "How about I just tell you what's what? Okay, I'm going to turn you around... there you go." So with one hand on her shoulder and the other pointing to different parts of the office, he leaned close to her ear and quietly told her what happened where. Dan's desk, Simone's 'corner', miscellaneous paperwork, permits, licenses, the ever-important coffee corner, fingerprinting, and then the hall that led to the dual jail cells. He deliberately didn't tell her where his desk was. Ty straightened and lowered his hand from her shoulder. "That's about it. Like I said, nothing exciting." Becca looked around the office. "B-But where's y-your desk?" She faced him. "D-Don't you have one?" "Oh. Right. Sheesh. How could I forget that one?" Ty motioned to the left corner of the office. "It's a mess, but it's over here." He stepped slowly toward it, his eyes still watching Becca as she wrung her hands and worried her lower lip. Finally, after a furtive glance over her shoulder, she moved forward. Ty smiled. Good girl, Becca. Ty arrived at his desk and pulled out the chair, leaning his arms over the top as he motioned at the piles of folders and the stacks of papers with a wave of his hands. "See? A mess. It's a wonder I get any work done at all." Her eyes examined the stacks and folders and bent articles before meeting his gaze. "What is it?" she asked in a hushed tone. "Mostly all of it's research into the history of Brazon Creek; a personal project I've been working on for nearly 5 years." "Really?" She moved her gaze back to it. "Can I read some?" Of course, Becky. You loved this stuff as much as I do. "Sure. What's the point in having it if you don't let people read it." Becca actually sent him a slight smile. Then the back door opened and she sharply turned, backing away from the sound and the footsteps that approached. Ty whispered, "Sh-sh-sh. It's just Dan coming back." Becca met Ty's gaze. He motioned to the chair with a smile. "Here. Why don't you sit down and hide behind my mountain of paperwork. I'll go see what he needs." Becca imperceptibly nodded as she lowered herself into the chair, her gaze going again toward the footsteps. She pulled her feet up onto the chair when Dan appeared, wrapping her arms around herself as she watched him with wide eyes. "I'll stay where you can see me," Ty offered. "Okay?" She nodded again. Ty turned to make his way toward Dan. "How's Si?" Ty whispered when he was out of earshot. Dan moved so that he faced away from Ty's desk. "She's a mess. You know how close they were." Ty nodded as he put his hands on the belt of his slacks. "Yeah. I know." Dan released a deep breath. "All these years I thought she was..." Dan shook his head before raising his gaze to Ty's face. "My God, Ty. Becca's alive and in our office," he whispered intensely. "Why didn't you say it was her before?" Ty cleared his throat. "I guess I was in denial, Dan. I didn't recognize her." "Didn't--" Dan stayed silent for a moment. Then he leaned back against the hallway wall. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I get that." He motioned toward Ty's desk. "What are you wanting us to do? Act like we don't know her?" "I don't like it any more than you do, but what choice do we have? She teeters between panic, desperation, terror, and barely controlled..." Ty cleared his throat when he felt the wave of emotional stress nearly drown him. He shook his head. "I hate it, too, but Dan, we've got to protect her from herself right now." "Does that mean you aren't going to tell her folks?" Ty nodded. "Becca's going to have as little to do with anyone in this town as possible." "How are you going to do that with her here? You know everyone makes a point of stopping in here to say 'hi' to you. They want to be in that history you're writing." Ty scrubbed at his scalp. "I know. I figured I'd take her with me on my patrol." "And then what? Your patrol won't take your entire shift." "I'll just lock the front office. If they need me, they can call." Ty looked toward his desk. Becca had her back to them, but she still sat quietly in his chair with her arms around her legs. "I hate to see her like this." He changed his focus back to Dan. "If we hadn't left her there..." Dan shook his head. "Don't go there, Ty. She should have been safe in the cabin, and we don't know for sure she left on her own steam." Ty rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah. I know." He released a quick breath and sent another look toward Becca. She had brought down one of his many folders filled with newspaper clippings and historical accounts and was silently and intensely reading through it. "She doesn't want to know who she is." Ty looked over at Dan and clenched his jaw. "I'm going to need help, Dan. Major." Dan gripped Ty's shoulder. "We're here, Ty. We always were." Ty reluctantly smiled. "Yeah. I guess you were. Thanks." A movement by his desk drew Ty's attention. Becca had scooted closer to his desk and intensely read yet another collection of articles and clippings, her left elbow on the desk and her temple pressed against her curled fingers. As was her custom, she alternated between biting at the fingernail of her index finger and teasing the left side of her lower lip. Ty breathed in deeply, heard the whispered "Good luck" from Dan before he turned to make his way out to check on Simone. Ty stepped toward Becca. He brought a chair from beside Dan's desk and set it up next to his own. Becca gave a very slight twitch and cringe as she raised her eyes to meet his. He wore his usual - if forced - reassuring smile as he sat. "How ya doin'? Okay?" Becca slightly nodded, and an expression of relief could be seen in her green eyes. She covered the collection of articles with a hand. "Why are... What are these for?" A faint hint of curiosity sparkled. For you. For when you came back. "Like I said, it's a history of Brazon Creek." So I could let you know what happened while you were gone. So you'd feel as if you'd never left when you came back. "History..." she repeated softly, her focus returning to the folders and notes and articles. Ty stared down at his clenched hands, forcing the fists to open. He lightly rubbed them together. You always loved history, Becky. Thought it defined the future... Now she didn't have one. What kind of future would that give her? "Are you in here?" Ty met her eyes. Curiosity and interest burned brighter, pushing the fear nearly out of existence and reminding him so much of the Becca he knew before. "Probably." And all Ty could recall were the articles relating to Becca's disappearance. Her focus returned to the piles and stacks of history. "Where?" Ty cleared his throat and slowly stood to move beside her chair. He cleared his throat again as he lightly touched the tabs of the varying manila folders. Lord, what do I show her? Life after she left? That's why I started this. "Here's one. This is an article they did on me when I graduated high school." Ty brought down the collection of articles relating to his career with the Brazon Creek sheriff's department. "I became a deputy practically right out of high school." He set the folder on top of the previously opened one. "I guess it was a big thing." Becca hesitantly and cautiously reached out for a photograph within of Ty and his father in full uniform. "Is this you?" she asked in a hushed voice. Ty's face relaxed into his smile. "Yeah. The cool one on the right is Dad. I'm the goofy lookin' one on the left. First day on the job." Becca stared at the picture a long time before setting it aside and picking up an article. Ty stealthily watched her expressions as he attempted to gauge her silence. Does she remember anything? Or am I just adding to her confusion. Ty released a slow and silent breath. Lord, just tell me when to back off and when to stop. I don't want to make things worse. Becca held up a small article including a picture of Ty in a tree with a very scared white kitten. She looked over at him with a slight smile but said nothing. Ty chuckled as he took the article from her fingers. Their skin touched and she flinched back. Ty tried to ignore it. "I remember this. I'd been having a horrible day when Dad and I got the call." Ty pointed to the kitten. "Snow here was the new property of our pastor's granddaughter visiting from California. Only Chelsea, the granddaughter, didn't know about Snow's talent at escaping. She was frantic, Chelsea that is, by the time we were called in." Ty offered her back the article. She bit her lower lip for a second before reaching out to take it. Her hesitation and terror at physical contact was like a spike in Ty's brain, especially at the memories he had of her warm and loving personality. Ty cleared his throat and leaned forward to look again at the folder and the articles within it. "I think Snow has granddaughters of her own now. Great-granddaughters more than likely," he offered simply. Several times he felt Becca's sidelong glances. This time he didn't lift his gaze to meet them. He only carefully sifted through the articles, very aware of his distance from her and her chair. It took her a little while before she cautiously reached into the folder, sending Ty a furtive glance as she did so, and replaced the article to draw out another newspaper picture. This one of Dan, Simone, Ty, and his dad. They were at the grave site of his mother. Ty released a slow breath, immediately feeling yet another furtive glance sent his direction. "Your mamma?" she whispered in a choked voice. He gave a slight nod and balled his farthest hand into a fist to keep himself from taking it from her. "Yeah." Becca smoothed a finger over the faces of him and his dad before setting the picture face down to the left. Then she sat very still and just stared at the remaining articles, her hands gripping the edge of the seat to his chair. Ty watched her out of the corner of his eye with a growing tightness of chest and throat. Finally, he slowly reached out to sift through the articles in search of a more pleasant happenstance. Becca suddenly leaned forward, nearly touching his arm with her cheek. "What's that?" Ty gauged her face and attempted to follow her gaze. "Which one?" he asked gently. She pulled a glossy picture and article from under a couple pieces of newsprint. "This one. What's this?" Ty scanned the headline and paled. He reached out to take it from her grasp. "Not that one." Becca flinched violently, cringing away from him and covering her head with her hands and arms with a cry of fear as she doubled over. Ty's spirit cringed. He knelt, the article fluttering to the floor as he stretched his hands out toward her. Ty clenched his jaw as his throat tightened around the name. "Sh-sh-sh. I'm sorry," he soothed softly. "I'm not mad." Becca's entire body quivered with terror as she cried, her shoulders trembling with her tears. "I didn't mean to do it," she choked out. "I didn't know it was bad..." Ty lifted his gaze heavenward with a frantic prayer of Jesus, help... as he said, "It wasn't bad. It was just a scary article for me. That's all." We'd found a new lead in your disappearance. We thought we had a chance of finding you, only it didn't pan out. It hurt so much more... "I don't like remembering it." Becca began gently rocking back and forth, her hands and arms still covering her head in an attempt to protect her from whatever memory so terrified her. Ty placed his hands on the back of the chair and the seat, careful not to touch her. "It's alright, girl," he whispered. "Sh-sh-sh. It's alright." He slowly turned it around and placed a hand on each arm of the chair. Becca slightly shook her head. "Please don't be mad..." she whimpered. "I didn't mean to do it..." "I know you didn't," Ty said softly. He placed his hands on either side of the seat, palms upward. She flinched slightly, but they drew her attention. "It was my fault," he told her. "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?" Becca stopped rocking. Ty waited, keeping his hands one on each side of her, palms upward, kneeling in front of her. Very slowly she lowered her hands and arms from their protective reaction, her eyes still drawn to his opened hands. "I didn't mean to do it," he said, repeating her words. "Please don't be mad." Becca cautiously raised her gaze to meet his. Hers were wide with surprise and shock as they glimmered with tears. She slightly shook her head. "I'm not mad," she told him, and the tone she used held disbelief, as if she couldn't believe he would think she had been. He slowly smiled. "You're not?" She shook her head again. "No." Ty released a relieved breath. "Good. I'm glad." He held her gaze. "Do you forgive me for scaring you?" he asked carefully. Becca inclined her head. "You didn't mean to." "No. I didn't." "You were just scared of the picture." Ty nodded. "Yes. I was." Thank you, Jesus. Becca smiled, and it was as if the Becca from his memory had come back. She rested her hands in his. "Why were you scared of the picture?" Ty's throat tightened, and he fought back the memories of similar discussions of fears. Becca had always wanted to discuss them. That way it didn't hold power over their lives. Ty took in a deep breath. There was so much of the Becca of his memory staring back at him... Ty cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. "Bad memories. A close friend disappeared." Her hands tightened on his. "Did they... Did they die?" He slightly shook his head, still fighting the memories and what they might do if she saw them in his eyes. ...and it felt so good to talk about it. "I don't want to think of them as dead. Just somewhere else." "Somewhere else..." Becca lifted his hands and rested them in her lap as she stared down at them, still palm upward. "I used to wish to be somewhere else. Somewhere with pretty trees and a lake. Flowers and a little cabin with a cozy fireplace..." Ty felt tears burn at the description. Ty and Becca's favorite campsite in Brazon Creek off Baxter Road. Becca lifted her eyes to meet his. "Maybe your friend is there," she whispered. Ty clenched his jaw against the need to hold her and release the grief and the relief and-- He closed his eyes and lowered his head, his body tensing as he kept from pulling his hands from hers. Jesus... "Maybe." "You miss them." Ty slightly nodded, and his jaw began to ache. "Yeah," he said in a rough voice. "I do." Silence. Hands tighten. "T.J.?" Ty's chest tightened, but he forced his eyes open. "Yeah?" Becca looked up. "Can I be your friend? The missing one? So you don't have to miss them anymore?" Terror hid behind the question. Ty nearly wrapped her up in a tight embrace with the welcome suggestion of bringing Becca home. Don't move, Ty! Don't you move! Ty swallowed hard. "I don't think--" "Please?" she asked, and her tone nearly held desperation. She released his hands and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, eyes wide. "I don't want to be in the dark anymore. I want to have names to the faces, even if they aren't really mine. I-I want to have a place to say is home." Her voice cracked and became a frantic whisper. "I want to remember something that isn't... isn't scary and black. I want a n-name..." her voice broke off, drowned by the tears that spilled over onto her pale cheeks. She closed her eyes and gave a helpless shake of her head. "P-Please, T.J.... I just want... a-a..." Sobs stole the rest and she covered her face with her hands, her body shaking with a cacophony of emotions Ty couldn't even hope to understand. God... But what else could he say? What else could he pray as he stared at the woman he'd always loved. The woman who no longer had a history. The woman who didn't know that she held his heart and their future in her scarred and trembling hands. Ty leaned forward and very tenderly embraced her, bringing a hand up to gently stroke her auburn curls. Becca tensed but didn't pull away. Ty closed his eyes and released a deep breath. Dear Jesus, what do I do? You know that I want my Becky back, but what do You want? "Sh-sh-sh-sh. It's all right," he whispered. What's the best for her? What's Your plan? Please. You've gotta help me! I... I can't do this... Ty loosed his hold on her but didn't push back. Her hands continued to clutch his shirt. "Tell you what," he said softly, "why don't you pick a name that you really like? Then, I can make you up a file here. I can register your fingerprints with that name, and we can get you a driver's license and a library card..." I'll just pull some strings here and there... Oh. I better contact the FBI, too. "We'll just set you up here in Brazon Creek. This'll be your home. How's that?" She sniffed several times, fingers still clutching his shirt, but she didn't move back or pull away or even look at him. "Here? W-With you?" Dear Jesus... Ty swallowed hard. "And Doc Dawson. And Simone, my sister. And Dan. And Zeke. All these people you've already met and who know you, just not your name. How's that? Does that sound okay?" He pulled carefully back to examine her face. She stared at the top couple buttons of his uniform, thinking as she lightly bit her lower lip. "We can get you new stuff and find you an apartment--" Becca raised wide eyes to meet Ty's. "Can't I stay with you?" Ty paled, and his throat tightened. Becky, "I'm a bachelor." I couldn't marry anyone but you. And as Ty held her glimmering green eyes... He remembered his proposal, their promise to wait until their marriage, the expectation... I can't... Dear Jesus, help me... "How about staying with Doc Perry or Aunt Meredith?" She released his shirtfront and cupped his face so quickly that Ty blinked with shock and nearly sat back. "Please," she whispered. "Don't make me be by myself. Please, T.J." To Ty's horror, her entire persona changed. Her fingers caressed his face and her attitude became more seductive as she moved closer. "Let me stay with you," she whispered, and her lips caressed the skin of his cheek. "...please..." The familiarity of her closeness and her touch made Ty close his eyes, pulling her a little closer as he let himself remember-- Then a press within his deepest soul snapped his eyes open and tightened his grip on her arms to push gently back. She stared at him with wide eyes, arms dropping stiffly to her sides. "It wouldn't be right," he told her in a soft yet firm voice. God, what did this monster do to her? "I think it would be best for you to stay with my Aunt or Doc Perry. They were nice. Remember?" Shame flamed her cheeks as she lowered her eyes. Tears escaped and she hid her face in her hands. "I-I'm sorry," she choked out. "I'm a whore..." Rage and anger hardened Ty's expression. "No," he said sharply. Becca cringed and bent nearly in half, covering her head with her hands and arms. Ty clenched his jaw, his chest tightening as he watched her. "No, you aren't," he said in a softer tone. "You're scared. You're confused. You don't want to be by yourself, and I don't blame you. When I'm scared, I don't want to be alone either." Ty carefully but firmly pried her hands from her face. Tears streaked her red cheeks and continued to glimmer in her green eyes as she stared at the top button of his uniform. "You're fine, girl. Really. Okay?" She only silently bit her lower lip. "Can you look at me?" he asked softly. She hiccuped a sob before slowly and cautiously meeting his gaze. Apologies and guilt and shame darkened her eyes to a deep forest green. "It's all right," he told her again. "I forgive you. It's forgotten. Okay?" She choked on more tears, but relief and a myriad of other more pleasant emotions mingled in her eyes and her tears as she slightly nodded. "Okay. Now." Ty slightly smiled. "Did you want to choose a name?" Becca lowered her gaze to the ring on her finger. Their ring. Their promise. She touched it. "I wonder what he called me?" she whispered. Ty watched her face with a slight smile as he remembered the picnics and beach trips. The church retreats and Bible studies... She looked up and met his gaze again. "I don't know," she whispered. And she shook her head. "I don't know..." Lord, how can I help? "Well. Let me think..." Bible studies... Ty raised an eyebrow and slowly stood, turning toward his desk. He opened a couple drawers-- "Here we go." He pulled out a black leather Bible and faced her again, leaning against the desk to flip to the back. "I seem to remember a bunch of really nice names in here. Yeah. Here they are." He offered her forward the Bible and pointed to a particular portion of the page. "Right here. Why don't you read through there and see if you like any?" She hesitantly took the Bible from him. Then she balanced it on her lap and nibbled on the nail of her littlest finger. "They're all so pretty." Ty watched her, still with a slight smile as he crossed his arms. "Yep." "Ruth. Hannah. Rebekah. Miriam. Deborah. Sarah..." She looked up and met his gaze. "I don't know which one." I always loved 'Rebecca.' It sounded so... you. "Well, what do you feel like? Do feel more like a Ruth than a Hannah? Would you feel better if I said, 'Hi, Deb' then if I said 'Hi, Becky.'" She lowered her focus back to the list of names. Ty's expression became pained. "Ruth." Becca closed her eyes. "Hannah." She tilted her chin slightly. "Rebekah." She slowly closed the Bible with a deep sigh, and then her lips began to move with each name. Ty drew in a deep breath and released it, adjusting his crossed arms as he lowered his head and closed his eyes. Lord... Ty had this deep and intense feeling that Becca needed to push through the fear and darkness to her new future beyond. She had to rediscover who she was, even if it turned out different than the Becky Ty knew and loved. He cringed slightly. Lord, I need you to take these feelings. The only way she can start over is if I do, too. Once and for all. I don't know if I can do that. If it means peace for her, I want to, but I don't know how. I need You to help me. Ty released another deep breath, and it seemed that his heart tore in two with his decision. To let 'Becky' go. To mourn her and start again; finally. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. Okay, Jesus. Okay... He would never forget her. Their memories were too powerful for that to happen. But he had to let her go. Ty opened his eyes and focused on The Lady of Baxter Road. She slightly shook her head and opened her eyes, lightly stroking the Bible with her hand and fingers. "I feel like a Ruth," she whispered. "Small. Simple. Ignored... Maybe... maybe a little invisible." She sighed. "It's a... a timid name." Ty's expression registered concern. "Ruth was the name of a very brave young woman." "Really?" And her voice sounded absent and distant. "I wanted to be brave once. It seems like so long ago..." Ty clenched his jaw and lowered his gaze to his crossed arms. Ruth. Ruth... Yes. She did seem like a Ruth. Small and frightened but very brave beneath it all. "You are brave, Ruth," he said gently. He met her gaze. "You are." She examined his face and eyes a moment before staring again at the Bible. She adjusted her hands upon it. "Ruth." She released a sigh with a slight nod. Then she faced Ty; relief glittered in her green eyes. "My name is Ruth." Ty smiled. "Nice to meet you, Ruth. I'm Sheriff Tyler Bryant." He winked at her. "But you can call me T.J." Ruth's eyes brightened with her slight smile, and a musical yet soft giggle erupted from her throat. She flushed and looked away. Ty continued to watch her a moment before looking down, lifting the chain around his neck to finger and stroke the ring that hung at the end. Then he sighed, pressed the ring to his lips, and slipped it from his neck to set it into a drawer of his desk, closing the drawer with a slow and deliberate action. He smiled down at Ruth as she sent him a timid glance. Rest in peace, Becky. |